“in pain shall you bear children”
she squats in the field,
surrounded by women,
who wipe her sweat,
hold her legs,
who speak to her
in tender whispers
and encouraging shouts,
her screams mingled with theirs,
her cries tied up theirs.
the warmth of breath
and bodies
and blood rising.
She sighs ninety-nine sighs,
ninety-nine little deaths,
she gives of herself,
to push forth this one life.
a seed ceases to exist,
the bursting of the dams.
a life begins.
Parshat Masei, July 26, 1941
It is therefore impossible for anything new to be born without something dying, because for something to give birth to a new revelation of God, drawing new light down into this world, it must go through a process of nullification. It is impossible for anything to reveal the Divine Light while retaining the illusion of existence, as is well known. We can watch this process in the germination of a seed that we plant. A tree’s branches, leaves, and fruit cannot be discerned in the seed, and they may be thousands or millions of times larger than the seed -- but before the new tree can be revealed, the seed itself must cease to be. That is why every seed decomposes in the earth before it germinates. It is a kind of death. This is what is meant by the phrase “In despair will you give birth to children.” A woman experiences a painful process in which she relinquishes some of her physical powers, before she can give birth to a new creation. As we learn in the Midrash (Tanchuma, Tazria 6): “While squatting upon the birthing stool, ninety-nine of her groans despair unto death, while only one calls out for life.” Through the nullification of the existence of parts of herself, she prepares for God, blessed be He, to bring forth a new creation.
